Well…where was I?
Oh, yes I was talking about my love for Doris and how I started changing myself….
Now, growing up, I was a ‘normal’ sized girl, apart from my big bosom. I had always been well endowed, and as I grew in size, so did they!
I’ve had all the teasing and the jokes, the smutty comments and the elbow nudges. And you know what? It never really bothered me. In fact when I went out for the rare night on the town with the girls, I made sure I wore a low cut/revealing top to show them off.
I did this, as my theory was if they were so busy looking at my chest, they wouldn’t notice the huge hips, wide ass and thunder thighs.
For so many years, my boobs became almost a ‘security blanket’ for those times that I did go out.
Making a change style wise was a really big and challenging decision for me. After all, there would be no security blanket for me if I suddenly started running around in swing and wiggle dresses.
The styles I love and the way I would wear them would get looks from people and I needed to be able to live with that in a positive way, rather than be self conscious about it.
To go with every cliche, you really do have just the one life and I really didn’t want to miss out anymore. I decided to make myself happy in any way I chose and began living with the motto…
‘What’s the worst that could happen?’
And so I decided to have as many adventures and put myself outside my comfort zone as much as possible.
I thought that as long as I tried something, it couldn’t be a bad thing. And so what if people looked or judged?
Out went the standard black and grey dresses, and in came florals, bright colours and prints, mostly all in a vintage style.
One of my first ‘public’ outings in my new style was to Birmingham in May 2014. I had been a lifelong Prince fan since my teens and I was lucky enough to get 2 tickets to see him at the NEC.
So, on went the red polka dot dress, flicked eyeliner and bright red lipstick. I hit Birmingham and as I walked around the city, I could feel people glancing at me. I realised I was surrounded by a sea of black, brown and beige clothes (including my husband).
I was surprised to find that it didn’t phase me at all. I mean, Let’s face it, I was on a shopping spree in the city, was due to be having a posh lunch AND I was going to be seeing my idol in a matter of hours! I just couldn’t stop grinning!
And in that one day, I started to feel my confidence level growing…