When I was encouraged to start writing my blog nearly two years ago, I honestly didn’t think I was good enough.
Good enough to write. Good enough for people to want to read. Good enough in how I looked. Good enough for anyone.
Yet, thanks to some amazing Plus Size Bloggers, I decided to give it a go. After all my motto had recently become “What is the worst that could happen?”
Well, in this case the worst thing would be if no-one read the blog. But even then, it would be a diary for me to see in years to come and if the blog fizzled out, nothing was lost.
Obviously the worst didn’t happen because here we are nearly two years later and the blog is still going. I have won a Curvee Award for Best New Blog. I am in the final six for Best Plus Size Blog in the British Plus Size Awards and my blog and vintage style are up for two awards in the Marvelette Awards.
So, onto my latest adventure which was one I never expected to happen!
I have been a reader of Vintage Life magazine for a couple of years and love the articles and fashions inside. I was even featured in one edition in the “My Style” Section where I had to show my five favourite outfits. It was a real honour and about the only time I ever thought I would be in such a wonderful magazine.
Well all that has changed now! How so? I hear you ask.
About two months ago I saw a posting on the Vintage Life page looking for new writers as the magazine was having a massive relaunch. They were looking for people to submit articles and again I thought “What is the worse that can happen”
I submitted a proposal talking about Plus Size and the rise of popularity within the Vintage Life and style. I kept my fingers crossed and my lips sealed.
Imagine my surprise two weeks later when I was added to a group conversation with the Editor and Sub-Editor, the lovely Rachel Evans and Haili-Leanne Hughes. Did this mean I was successful?
Chatting away with the lovely ladies, deadlines for articles were given and we had to propose what we would like to write about. Now I was about to head off to Twinwood and had many a discussion in the past with other plus size lovelies who wanted to wear real vintage but just couldn’t get their hands on it. Would that make an interesting read for the Vintage Life crowd?
Deciding to go with the idea, I pitched it to Haili-Leanne. The idea being that if you could find Plus Size original Vintage anywhere, then surely Twinwood would have it?
Off I went to Twinwood and started my search. If I was unsuccessful, then potentially I might not have an article at all. I started to panic a little but knew I had to give it my best shot.
Now, I am very pleased to say that my search was quite successful. I managed to locate clothes, which in turn gave me a clear direction for the blog post. I had the information, I just needed to write the article now.
Because of the dates of Twinwood, it meant I only had around five days to write the article and submit before missing the deadline. I sat myself down with a cup of tea and some Ella Fitzgerald and let my fingers fly across the keyboard.
I wrote all my thoughts down, before writing the actual article. A few alterations and I was happy with my writing. I spellchecked it and then sent it off to Haili-Leanne for potential submission.
Now, even though I had submitted my article I still thought it was highly unlikely that it would be featured in the magazine. After all, I am not a qualified writer, haven’t been to University or had anything published before. Again, I didn’t feel good enough to be featured.
I decided to keep it a secret from my family and friends. Apart from a couple of fellow Twinwood goers, (who I had sworn to secrecy) but had recruited to try and source plus size clothes, no-one else knew.
Why didn’t I tell them? Because I was worried about letting them down.
I didn’t want to fail.
Now you might ask why I would even think that. But it is very easy to answer. Although outwardly I try and portray total confidence in myself, inside I am still lacking in confidence. Whilst I am happy in my shape, size and style , I do not have confidence in my capabilities. I still don’t believe I can achieve the things that I want the most.
And I really want this badly.
I just didn’t want to look foolish in front of my children. I have always tried to teach them that if you work hard enough, you can achieve your dreams. So I didn’t want to tell everyone that I was going to be in a magazine, just in case I didn’t make it.
A few weeks later and Haili-Leanne gave us our next deadline. But I didn’t even know if my first submission was good enough. Did I dare write a second piece?
Again nothing ventured, nothing gained. I wrote a second piece and sent it off. All I could do now was wait.
Less than a fortnight later and I was excited to see a post from Vintage Life Magazine promoting the brand new relaunch. There on the front were the words “Plus Size Fashion” Did that mean my article would be inside?
I knew my hard copy would be posted out soon, as I have a yearly subscription. But I couldn’t wait to find out. I quickly set up an account on Pocketmags and purchased a digital copy for the bargain price of £2.99.
I ignored the index and started looking through the magazine. Each page was a glossy revelation. The articles better than ever, and so many new topics. I was loving ever single page.
Then I hit Page 25. And there It was in full colour. My article “Plight of the Plus Size” was spread over two whole pages.
I was literally over the moon. I had dreamt of having my writing being published in a National Magazine, and here it was. The first thing I did was to tell my family.
They were surprised to hear that I had applied to write for the magazine and not tell them about it. But they totally understood the reasons. I showed them the electronic copy to start with, but the hard copy will be when it all seems real.
I have to say that being published in such a well known magazine has been the highlight of my year. Who knew that when I started writing my little blog that something so amazing would happen?
Since hitting Forty, every year has got better and better. I genuinely can’t wait for 2017!