As I said in my previous post, I actually wrote Two pieces for my final entry into the Yours Clothing “Be The Blogger” Competition.
Here’s Part Two!
Things have been ticking along so very nicely with my blog. My readers are on the increase, my social media is getting better and I am loving what I am writing. More now than ever.
I am not an overly competitive person (well apart from the odd board game) I don’t fight for recognition and I haven’t made the most of opportunities that may be offered. This stems, I believe from a lack of confidence that anyone would want me or think I was good enough.
In the two years I have been writing my blog, I have had so many new adventures and opportunities. I have given them a good old go, even when believing I wouldn’t get chosen, as there are other people out there far better than I, far more “recognised” and much more popular.
And this is part of my own personal downfall. Why am I even measuring my own self worth against others? I am me. A wife, a Mother, a Daughter, an Auntie. I am loved, valued, responsible, trusted and a respected person.
So what makes me think I am less worthy of good things happening than anyone else?
If I could answer this, I probably would become a billionaire. I do have a lack of confidence in myself, and have always fretted over being put in the spotlight or having to be the centre of attention.
This stems back to a childhood of jokes and ridicule when I was a skinny teen with a huge chest. Not wanting to stand out or get teased for the out of proportion shape I was.
Even as my dress sizes went up, I didn’t participate in things, preferring to spectate. Well, I say prefer. What I actually mean is desperately wanting to join in but not doing so as I was the fattest person in the room and immediately that put me at a risk of ridicule.
So what changed?
As I have previously mentioned in some of my other blogs, two years ago I hit 40. And that was all it took.
It was like a light bulb came on overnight. I was missing out on life, letting excitement and adventures pass me by for fear someone might laugh at me. Total strangers who I would probably never see again. Yet I was letting them “rule” the things I did.
So when I saw the Post from Yours Clothing advertising a competition to become a “Yours Blogger” I felt a rush of excitement. Then a wave of self-doubt. I was sure that there would be thousands of entrants, all of them younger and brighter and fresher than I was. I had no chance of making it through to the shortlist as it was based on votes and I don’t have a massive following yet, although it is getting there.
So I ummed and aaahed for a couple of days. Then I remembered the mantra that I had started listening to when I hit 40. “What’s the worst that can happen?”
So I threw my hat into the ring and entered the competition. After all, stranger things have happened and I might just be what Yours Clothing are looking for.
Well you can imagine my shock at receiving an email to say I had made the final shortlist and needed to write a blog to be judged on. You literally could have blown me down with a feather.
Then I sat down and thought hard on what I would write about for my submitted piece. And I was torn. Do I talk about fashion in general, or do I talk about me? Well that came across as a bit vain, but surely Yours Clothing need to know what I am all about and what I can offer.
I mean, take a good look at me. I am 42, a size 24-26 and 5 foot 3 and a bit (that bit makes a lot of difference) I am too old and short to be a model. I am not fresh faced, there are more than a few lines around my eyes and I wear them well. I have grown up children and work hard at a job I love. I guess if you had to pigeonhole me, it would be that I am a normal plus size working mother. But I am so much more than that.
Let’s face it, there aren’t that many plus size women aged 40+ in the public eye, either on the television or in modelling campaigns and advertising. The Forty to Sixty market are a untapped resource. For many of us, our families are grown up and we are in possession of more disposable income. We want stylish, funky and fashionable clothing, with a classy edge. But we don’t have anyone representing that out in the public eye.
This is why I want to be a Yours Blogger. I want to show the older woman that we can look good and dress well. Representing Yours Clothing would have a massive achievement of course, but even more than that I would be representing all of those women who at 40+ want to be fashionable and fantastic.
Every time I open a magazine the latest stories are filled with the older plus size celebrity talking about their latest weight loss plan. That’s not what I want to see. I want to see a body positive, happy and confident plus size woman. I want to know about her struggles and her life. I want to be enthused about looking good and dressing to please me. I want to see clothes on someone who looks like I do!
I know I can be that person. I am happy in my size and myself. I am body positive and confident in a way I wasn’t when I was in my twenties and thirties. Even more so I want to stand up for all the middle aged women out there and shout from the rooftops that we are here and we look damn good doing it, especially in Yours Clothing.
If I had someone who I felt represented me when I was in my thirties I might not have waited ten years to start living my life.
However they do say that Life Begins at Forty. I want to encourage everyone out there to Life live to the fullest.
Pick me and let me introduce your fabulous fashion to something a little bit different – Me!