In previous posts, I have talked a lot about how my style has changed over the past 2.5 years. In the most welcome of ways, I think.
In the past, I had no body confidence, and disliked my size intensely, but was not willing to do anything about it. Or when I did do something about it and lost a lot of weight, I was still miserable.
So what changed?
I guess I just stopped disliking myself, finally. I realised that life literally was too short to waste, and started living the way I wanted to.
In a previous post, I wrote this……..
“Now, growing up, I was a ‘normal’ sized girl, apart from my big bosom. I had always been well endowed, and as I grew in size, so did they!
I’ve had all the teasing and the jokes, the smutty comments and the elbow nudges. And you know what? It never really bothered me. In fact when I went out for the rare night on the town with friends, I made sure I wore a low cut/revealing top to show them off.
I did this, as my theory was if they were so busy looking at my chest, they wouldn’t notice the huge hips, wide ass and thunder thighs.
For so many years, my boobs became almost a ‘security blanket’ for those times that I did go out.”
And that is exactly how I felt about myself. So, when I changed the way I viewed myself, and decided to dress in a totally alien way, I never for once believed where this would lead me!
Big swing dresses, petticoats, hats, cats eye glasses. Tight wiggle dresses, seamed stockings, hair flowers. It is all so wonderful and colourful. I always feel happy and smiley whenever I get dressed. It is like I have become “me”.
Modelling. being on company websites and having items of lingerie name after me was never in my plans. I am still quite gobsmacked that it has all happened.
And all because I wanted to dress like Doris Day!
My nan and I messing around on holiday. I am not quite 12 years old in this photo.
So, this post is taking a trip down memory lane. Looking at the person I was, the person I evolved into, and the person I am now.
We all have those embarrassing photo’s in the back of a drawer, that you don’t want to share with the World. The dodgy hair cuts, the sparkly eyeshadow, the different shades of dyed hair. Here I am, sharing them with you all!
My first Pin Up Girl dress which was bought by my brother for my 40th Birthday. Even now I call it my Doris dress as it was the defining moment of me wearing exactly what I liked, without worrying what anyone thought.
This was me getting a little braver. A boudoir photoshoot in London with the amazing Chiara Aprea. Never have I Felt so free and feminine. It was the start of my self love journey.
The start of my vintage hair experimentation. Multi-coloured, plain black, ginger, strawberry blonde and now peroxide blonde. What will it end up next?
Have a good giggle – If it brings smile to your face, then it will have been worth it!
Here I am, almost up to date and the fattest I have ever been. Yet also the happiest. There is a lot more to come, and In the words of Frank Sinatra, I intend to do it all My Way.
Let me know what you think about my trip down memory lane! How bad are those early photos?
Till next time