If you are a regular follower of my social media you will have seen recent photographs about a night out at the Dita Von Teese ‘Art of the Teese’ show that I had been to see at the London Palladium. Full review is here

Exciting Times

So, the evening had been amazing and I was floating on an artistic led high as I made my way back to St Pancras for my 0005 train home (arriving at 0130)

I wish I could say this was the end of a brilliant evening and getting home went simple and easy.

But it didn’t and I was left a little upset by what happened.

Travelling from Oxford Circus to St Pancras involved five stops. Simple and easy and no problem. When I got off the tube I walked towards the lifts to get up to St Pancras. As I did a young male tried to get in, however the lift was already in operation and I couldn’t open the doors.

Oxford Circus

By the time I got to the top, he had come up the stairs. Being the polite person I am, I apologised for not being able to open the doors for him.

Big Mistake!

He followed me along the strangely deserted corridor and I felt really uneasy. I started to walk faster and he kept time with me. Then he asked how old I was, stating I was hot as F*ck.

I ignored him and carried on walking, faster and faster. He asked more questions; was I married, where did I live, and more. I was really uneasy as the tube was strangely quiet. I guess as it was a Monday night and later than I normally would be walking around the tube.

I ignored him and by walking faster than ever, I managed to catch up to a couple walking a fair distance in front of me.

I looked back to see the male do a U-Turn and go the way he had come from. Had he just deliberately followed me? I don’t know but I was just glad that I was able to shake him off.

Finally I got into St Pancras and had around 30 minutes to wait for my train to leave. I hit M&S to get a snack and drink and then it happened again. A man wandered up to me and tried to engage me in conversation, asking if I was heading to a party, did I need an escort, why I was alone and if I had a man.

Now, I could have left out these experiences from this amazing night however I feel it is important to highlight them.

Why?

Well, I had just left a theatre where the beauty of the female (and male) body had been celebrated. All sizes and styles. Yet throughout all of this there was the understanding that this was a performance which the artists WANTED to do. That they were proud in what they did.

I started off the night proud in what I looked like, what I was wearing and how I presented myself. Pretty much how I imagine those performers to feel.

Is Dita ready for me?

But by the time I got to the train platform (where there was a train manager and security staff) I was a nervous wreck due to comments made by men. Now, they may have thought that their comments and questions were legitimate and complimentary.

However, you would expect that if a female ignores you and walks faster in an attempt to get away, that your approach is not appreciated or warranted. This just didn’t happen though. Both men continued with their ‘chat up’ lines.

Even though I was visibly uncomfortable, they continued.

I was left visibly shaken by the first male. He was aggressive in his questions (which I ignored) and followed me, asking those questions for around 10 minutes.

The end of the night

Now the second male was over and done in around 3-4 minutes. But it still had an effect.

Why do people, both male and female feel it is okay to be so aggressive in their pursuit of a person?

I started to ask myself questions.

What did I do to warrant this unwanted attention?

Was it my confidence that attracted them?

Was it my dress that showed some cleavage?

Was it travelling alone on the tube at nearly midnight?

Was I ‘asking’ for it?

Whatever it was, if not the things above,  this was simply NOT acceptable.

If my gown showed some cleavage, this doesn’t mean I was ‘asking’ for their attention.

My confidence has been hard fought for and won; because I am comfortable in my size and skin doesn’t mean I am fair game.

In 2018 the fact that I was travelling alone, late at night didn’t give free reign to those people to ‘have a crack’ at me. It wasn’t right or acceptable.

Being a mother I have to ask that age old question; What would their mother think if they could see how their sons were behaving?

If it was me, I would be mortified. Now I am just plain ANGRY!

Finally on the platform waiting for the train

It also makes me very frightened for my daughters, who at the age of 22 are far more beautiful, confident and capable than I have ever been.

Is this something they face on a regular basis; do they suffer from unwanted attentions?

The fact that Little Chick lives 200 miles away frightens me as I can’t be there to protect her from predators.

Surely in 2018 this is an outdated practice? Or am I just naive?

Either way, unwanted attention will never be okay in my books. If you make an approach and are rebuffed or ignored, take notice.

Otherwise it could be YOU that I am writing about in my latest blog!

Asking for it??

Have you experienced the same? As a lone female are you scared to use public transport at night? How do you deal with unwanted attention?

Till next time,

SPSG xx